We all love to pick on our fellow musicians or band mates, so I have fuelled you with a list of my mates favourite musician jokes to keep you laughing until next band rehears.
How many folks singers does it take to change a light bulb? 1 to change it and 5 to sing about how good the old one was.
What's the definition of a gentleman...? Someone who knows how to play the trombone but doesn't.
How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? Two: one to change it and another to steal all the light.
What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless.
How do you know if a drummers at the door? They speed up when they're knocking.
How do you get the guitarist off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
What's the difference between an 18" dominos pizza and a trombone player? The pizza can feed a family of four
How do you know when the stage is level? The banjo player is drooling from BOTH sides of his mouth!
What's the difference between a trombone and a chainsaw...? Vibrato
What do you get if you drop a piano into an army barracks. A flat major
How do you make a soul singer from a duck? Put it in an oven until it's Bill Withers..
What's the difference between a Hoover and a guitarist? The Hoover has to be plugged in to suck!
What's the difference between terrorists and accordion players? Terrorists have sympathisers
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor
How many vocalists does it take to change a light bulb? It never happens, they just hold the bulb above their head and expect the whole world to revolve around them.
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Five: one to screw the bulb in and four to discuss how much better Neil Peart could've done it.
How do you know when a singer is at your door? They never know when to come in..
Did you hear about the bass player that so depressed with his bad timing, he threw himself behind a train!
Journalist: I bet you'll never go down on one knee again, McCartney: I'd rather you didn't call her that
How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb? 10, 1 to do it and 9 to tell her it's too high for her
What's the difference between a chainsaw and a Viola? A chainsaw has a better chance at blending in a string quartet.